Intuitive Eating? Woman Stops Eating When All of Her Emotional Voids Are Filled Yes, girl! Way to listen to your body!
Uh Oh! Joyous Online Order Now Dreaded Return Task “Am I being punished for the audacity to seek comfort via material means?”
Yes! Woman Finally Has Enough Money to Be Grateful for the Little Things “Rent, my phone bill, my electric bill, and being able to afford groceries really took up space in my brain.”
Media Trained? Friend Won’t Talk Shit With You Umm, who is her PR manager and why are they telling her to do this?
True Love? This Woman Finally Found the One Astrology Site That Says She’s Compatible With Her Crush “I knew we were the one exception to the rule, and AstroLovee.xyz proved it, despite seeming to be wholly written by AI.”
Financial Genius? This Woman Invested in a New Hairstyle Which Will Lead Her to Overwhelming Success Somehow This is going to pay for itself in no time!
‘I’m Pretty Spontaneous,’ Says Woman Who Wears Same Jewelry Every Day Nellie has worn the same necklace – a silver chain she got for her Bat Mitzvah – for the past 11 straight years of her life.
Nice! This Woman Just Journaled so She Should Be Set for Next Ten Months Sources confirm this single journal has lasted her from ages 16 to 23, with the average timespan between entries clocking in at 7.5 months.
Humiliating! Woman’s Coffee Order Came With a Big Dollop of Whipped Cream on Top “If that were my drink,” one bystander told reporters. “I would’ve just cut my losses and walked out.”
Cringe! This Woman Is Genuinely Happy and at Peace With Herself “The way she exists in public as her true self. That could never be me.”
Nice! These Women Each Take Three Days to Respond to a Text so They’ll Never Have a Full Conversation “She takes so long to respond to me that I assume she doesn’t mind when I do the same.”
Cool! This Woman Has Been in Fight or Flight for Four Years Awesome! That must be super fun to experience!
Finally! This Woman Went to the Library Because She Was Broke Going to the library has been “healing her inner child” and “keeping her somewhat afloat financially.”
Nice! Woman Supports Her Local Businesses Then Leaves Vicious Yelp Reviews “I’m not going to take it easy on them just because they’re local businesses.”
Nice! This Woman Saved Money on Groceries by Never Getting Groceries “I was spending a ton of money on unnecessary groceries like milk and eggs every week.”