Couple Ready for Threesome Can’t Work with Tanya’s Schedule
“It’s hard enough making time for just the two of us; imagine throwing a third person into the mix.”
Mom’s Dating Advice Devolves Into List of Reasons She Shouldn’t Have Married Dad
“Make sure he’s right for you before you have kids, even if you’re already married.”
Brave Man Saves Woman From Internalized Sexism
“Woulda been nice if she’d gone home with me, but she seemed kind of trapped in her oppressed views.”
Wedding-Thin Caroline ‘Completely Surprised’ by Boyfriend’s Proposal
“It’s more effortless if you’re already your goal weight…not that I did it on purpose or anything.”
Mom Takes Full Glass Out Of Daughter’s Hand, Puts It In The Dishwasher
“I hadn’t even taken a sip of it yet.”
LOFT Store Discount Formula Befuddles High School Math Teacher
“I left with the sense that maybe I’m not cut out for this whole ‘math’ thing.”
Mindful Eater Still Not Finished With Sunday’s Brunch
“I mean, we could use that table, but she looks like she’s really enjoying herself,” says her waiter.
Woman Patiently Waits for Her Coworkers to Be Surprised She’s 35
At press time, DeLiotta was still scanning faces for looks of surprise.
Refreshing Campaign Celebrates Real Women Instead of Ceramic Deborah
We demand models made of human flesh, NOT scorched clay!
Woman Receives Threats, Intimidating Responses to Accidental Butt Tweet
One of Schmitt’s followers replied, “All women are fucking liars.”
New App Stops Women From Using Words in Emails
Every time a woman types something into an email window, a bright red underline provides a gentle reminder that she’s typed words.
This Woman Can Orgasm Just From Unsubscribing From Email Lists
The relief of being let go by the invisible hand of the modern market contributed to the best sex of her life.
Woman With Bachelor’s Degree Intimidated by Peppermint Bark Recipe
“What’s a double boiler?” the former English Lit-Poli Sci double major asked aloud while panic-sweating.
Woman Secretly Inspired by Ironic Inspirational Poster
“All I want to do is hate it with everyone else, but it just got me.”
New Dating App Allows Strong, Shirtless Irish Men to Connect With Only Me
“Before CladdaghRing, I was struggling to meet shirtless swains with repressed Irish passion,” says me, a freelance writer.
Woman Blows Away Decade of Sobriety After Reading Kitschy Bar’s Chalkboard
“Thank you, signs,” she slurs. “You were right all along.”
‘Potter’ Producers Relieved No One’s Noticed New Hermione Has Sleds for Feet
Producers say they were prepared for a controversy, just not this one in particular.