How to Break Your Promotion to your Man Without Emasculating Him

After all those extra hours and hiding your three pregnancies, you finally got that promotion! Your thoughts immediately go to breaking the news to your husband. Will your good news make him feel lesser-than? Help him salvage his masculinity with some tips for breaking the news without breaking his sense of self-worth.

Bring it up while you’re “going down”.

Start the conversation by telling him that work was “soooo annoying today!” All you wanted to do was think about him, but there was an “issue” your boss had to talk to you about. Subtly move your hand into his pants with a pout on your face. Mention the “issue” was a promotion right when your hands are somewhere on his shaft or tip and be sure to avoid his balls this time around.

Insinuate you had an affair with your boss.

This one can be tricky. You must time the news in a one-two punch and will certainly have to deal with some fallout. He might be mad, but the rage of jealousy will be much easier to handle than the impotence of male insecurity.

Remind him it’s only because you’re a woman.

Everybody knows that offices have a quota to fill for “not men”. The only reason you have this promotion is because you’re a woman. Remind him that Matt from accounting was way more qualified, and it’s sad because he has a family to take care of.

Apples and Oranges.

Remind him your job is much easier than his. If you had to do his job, which you simply couldn’t, you would have been fired years ago! Comparing your jobs is comparing apples to oranges. His apples require much more intelligence than your dumb oranges. Then give him a blowjob.
 

 

Your raise will allow him finish that novel he’s been writing for 7 years.

Or is it 8? Never mind. He can finally quit his corporate slave job and start the life he was meant to lead writing or painting or music or whatever artistic pursuit he’s chosen that is more important than yours. He’ll land a book deal in no time in the thriving publishing industry.

Play secretary in the bedroom.

All this new responsibility means you’ll need to be more submissive behind closed doors. If you already are submissive in the bedroom, find ways to take this to new heights. Try begging to give him a blow job and then apologizing for how bad it was.