Fat First Names and How to Fix Them!
Fat First Names

 
You’ve worked hard for your rockin’ bikini bod – don’t let your name pack on the pounds! Here’s a list of fat first names and some easy, skinny fixes:
 
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If your name is already hot, act like it! Punctuation marks and accents are like belly button rings; hot, and an assurance that you are skinny.
 
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Stuck with your dumpy given name for religious or legal reasons? Hyphens can help! Hyphens are like a belt for you name. Please note these names are still fat, they just own it:
 
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The thinnest thing possible would be to have no first name at all. Unfortunately we live in the real world, where you’ll need to register for wedding gifts at some point. So, try these names on for size and start filling out the legal documents. You’ll thank us later.

by Chelsea Clarke