Wow! Woman’s Photo Storage Is 99% Full Even Though She Never Goes Anywhere or Does Anything Most of them are just pictures of her eye that she took in the middle of the night because she thought something was wrong with it.
Sad! This Woman Achieved Everything She Aspired to and Now She Has to Do It Forever “Damn. I never really thought about what would happen if I made it this far.”
Nice! All of This Woman’s Favorite Childhood Snacks Had Lead In Them “I’ve concluded that I have about 25 years to live.”
Adrenaline Junkie? This Woman Turned Off Her Alarms Even Though She Hadn’t Gotten Out of Bed Yet “Will I fall back asleep? Maybe. Will I miss my train? Who knows! The danger is the fun part!”
Thoughtful! Destination Wedding Goodie Bag Includes Instructions for How to File for Bankruptcy Aww! They really thought of everything!
Set Those Boundaries! Woman’s Out-of-Office Message Contains Anthrax “If they didn’t get the message to not email me when I’m on vacation before, I’m sure they’re getting the hint now.”
Cultural Critic? This Woman Is Mean “My friends have told me that I should make a Substack or pitch my stories to magazines.”
Retail Therapy Didn’t Work for This Woman so She’s Turning to Retail Ketamine Therapy Allysia bought a bunch of ketamine and plans to take that shit all at once.
Wow! This Woman Tried Not to Be Too Hard on Herself and Immediately Caused a Pile Up on the Freeway Yes, girl, you got this! A warrant for your arrest, that is!
Good for Her! This Woman Stopped Vaping and Started Smoking Cigarettes The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t!
Gentle Parenting? This Woman Is Teaching Her Male Friends About Washing Their Sheets “Now, Jacob, how often are we going to wash these sheets, sweetie?”
Nice! Woman Who Used to Be the Smart Sibling Now the Poor One “I guess I just had big aspirations for myself. And I kind of assumed those aspirations would lead to more than $25,000 a year.”
‘I’m Pretty Spontaneous,’ Says Woman Who Wears Same Jewelry Every Day Nellie has worn the same necklace – a silver chain she got for her Bat Mitzvah – for the past 11 straight years of her life.
Intuitive Eating? Woman Stops Eating When All of Her Emotional Voids Are Filled Yes, girl! Way to listen to your body!
Uh Oh! Joyous Online Order Now Dreaded Return Task “Am I being punished for the audacity to seek comfort via material means?”
Yes! Woman Finally Has Enough Money to Be Grateful for the Little Things “Rent, my phone bill, my electric bill, and being able to afford groceries really took up space in my brain.”