8 Sex Positions That Will Blow His Mind And Destroy His Penis

Sometimes you want to make love. And sometimes, you just want to destroy your man’s penis. Check out the eight sex positions below that’ll be sure to rock his cock off.

sexpositions_1

1. The Flip-it-and-reverse-it Corkscrew

Have your man lie on his back and mount him reverse-cowgirl style, facing his feet. Then go into a mini-backbend with the back of your head towards his face. Now grind into him like your trying to free a cork out of wine bottle with a broken corkscrew. The painful grip is sure to destroy his penis.

sexpositions_5

 

 

2. The One-Two Punch

This one’s not so much a sex position as it is an intimate way to relieve stress. After a long day of work, come home, light some candles, put on your favorite tunes, then punch your man in the dick. This will definitely take him by surprise, and you will most certainly destroy his penis.

sexpositions_3

3. Under the Bleachers

Not ready for home base? There are plenty of ways to satisfy your man without going all the way. Consider giving him a hand-job and never stopping ever. His penis will be ruined.

sexpositions_2

4. Icy-Hot

Playing with temperatures is an easy and fun way to spice things up in the bedroom. An ice cube on his penis will feel amazing. Dry ice on his penis will burn off the skin. Consider that penis destroyed!

sexpositions_7

5. The Raspberry Beret

Lots of men will tell you, they like it when you “go in through the out door.” So next time you get frisky, consider sticking a pinky in your mans’ anus. To increase stimulation, have your man lie down on a cement floor, effectively mashing his erection into the ground. Penis: obliterated.

 

 

sexpositions_4

6. The Pretzel

Have your man sit in a chair. Sit in his lap and drape your legs over his shoulders. Cross your feet. Then have him twist his legs around each other in a figure-eight. Have him bend them underneath the chair and behind his back. Tie the penis in a knot. Penis: destroyed.

sexpositions_6

7. Choke The Snake

Tie his wrists to your bedposts using his neckties. That’s right, 50 Shades of Grey style! Then grab some fishing line and tie it tightly around his penis (about two inches from the tip.) Then leave the room for a solid hour. When you get back, his penis will likely be destroyed.

sexpositions_8

8. The 69 Surprise

For those who love a good throwback to the sixties, get into the traditional 69 Position. While he’s performing oral on you, knee him in the face. While he’s reeling, knee him in the groin. You: 1, Penis: 0 (utterly destroyed).

Illustration by Carly Monardo

COMMENTS

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  • pinetree

    Misandry is alive and well. Just reverse the genders and ask if it appropriate,

    • Punani Ouanani

      This is a satyre of what porn promotes to do to women’s genitals, UGH

      • Gregy buu

        When does porn promote this type of genital abuse to a vagina?

        • Punani Ouanani

          Ah, sorry, hadn’t realized you’d already been brutally dry focked by a 11 inch cock for 55 minutes, after having waxed and bleached your asshole to oblivion, and slapped your dick a few times, whilst maybe pulling your hair, face fucking your mouth and spanking your arse.

          My bad

          • Fuck Yourself

            Since some women choose to do that, that means it’s mens fault so we should make articles like this and pretend we’re justified.

            Your brain is that of a rodent.

          • Amanda Brown

            Umm.. there are children in the Phillipines who ‘choose’ to get online and take off their clothes on webcams for money– just because you ‘choose’ to do something, especially for money, doesn’t mean its what you actually WANT to do. The abuse of vaginas is a multi-million dollar industry– millions of men pay millions of dollars to see womens vaginas get abused and boy does it turn them on–its not sexy as much as it is sadistic. this is just flipping it around to show the double standard of genital abuse of the opposite sex–ain’t so sexy now is it?

          • Tim Broad

            um well, actually, yes, its still sexy. my girlfriend thinks so too.

          • Billy Plante

            It’s funny you should mention that some people like to see women’s vaginas get abused, and it turns out it’s more women than men.

            http://www.pornhub.com/insights/what-women-want/

            According to site statistics of what men and women search for:

            “Things get heated pretty quickly after this though, with the Hardcore,
            Rough Sex, Double Penetration and Gangbang categories all showing women
            to be between 80-100% more likely to be lurking these extra explicit parts of Pornhub.”

            So of the things that women search for MORE than men, it goes like this, which you can see if you bother to click on the link, to actual statistics, of what people look at for porn:

            For Women – 193%
            Lesbian – 132%
            Solo Male – 103%
            Hardcore – 102%
            Rough Sex – 93%
            Double Penetration – 83%
            Gangbang – 80%
            Bondage – 77%

            I know I know, internalized masogyknees, and blah blah blah deflections and mental gymnastics. Or. It could just be that women actually enjoy rough sex more than men, and you’re in denial because of your ideological beliefs.

          • Mike Lopez

            What are you a sex negative Feminist? You realize that MANY women choose to take this path because they find it empowering to them? Not every woman that goes on camera and strips their clothes off is being abused or left with no options. What you’re claiming right now is actually misogyny in itself, why should you be the one to tell a woman who enjoys her work that she’s degrading herself? Respect others, and this is coming from someone that doesn’t even enjoy porn.

          • A Cat

            Conflating child exploitation with fully consenting adults. FAIL

          • prolibertate

            Yeah, I’m sure that all those female porn stars who make MILLIONS (look it up!) didn’t “really” want to do what they did…

            Once they had earned their first million, I suppose it was absolute necessity that drove them to continue.

          • Steve Cheney

            You know that most female porn stars aren’t actually millionaires, right?

            I mean, you really should know that.

          • Tim Broad

            You can fuck my mouth anytime! I love it! Who doesn’t love it?!

          • Steve Cheney

            Your dad.

          • Dina Strange

            awesome

          • Charlie Smith

            Your personal gripes with porn aside, this is in no way linked satirically to that, nor makes any points that might connect the two. it is quite simply a “funny when you hurt men” joke. It’s funny, but it’s not satire of anything. It’s just funny misandry.

          • Steve Cheney

            You’re just really desperate to find a way for misogyny to be okay, aren’t you.

          • Guest

            Good absolutelynopointmadethere (y)

          • Charlie Smith

            Nice absolute lack of a point or reasoning there, man! Do you care to actually say something as to why my comment is bad or wrong to you or shall we just call each other names that we think will trigger the other?

          • Charlie Smith

            And yes, before you troll, that comment did hurt. Why did I deserve such a bitter label put on me for saying that this isn’t satire and that it is funny misandry? Why do you get to do that? I didn’t say that misogny doesn’t exist or that it isn’t a huge problem that our society has to deal with as soon as possible before it can move forwards, so then why do you get to read my comments through your emotional defensive/offensiveness filer and brand me in such a distasteful way? Don’t trawl through the comments of a feminist post and try and shoot down every dissenting voice.

          • Steve Cheney

            Best stag-do ever?

          • Dean Erickson

            Those women get paid incredible amounts of money and are rarely subjected to anything they are uncomfortable with or didn’t agree to on set prior to contract, that’s business in today’s adult industry. they earn millions of dollars and these women shouldn’t be judged for their career choice. Even more to the point 80% of my sexual exploits with my previous partners loved to have their hair pulled their ass spanked deep throated and to receive a bit of dominance in the bed room. these women would ask for it regularly. what two or three consenting adults do behind closed doors is their own business and personal preference. You are just another typical hypocritical feminist i guess. blame men for women’s choices. what ever happened to equality, personal preference and to not judge others?

          • Don Tread

            This is a good example of mansplaining. The ladies always appreciate the enlightenment.

          • Mike Lopez

            This is a good example of a white knight, you’re definitely drawing the ladies in you twat..

          • Don Tread

            Oh my god you’re right. I totally fucked up my pickup scheme. I didn’t score, and I got called on it in front of everyone.

          • Mike Lopez

            By the way I notice a correlation with men like you who use the term ‘mansplaining’ and guys that turn out to be repulsive skinny jean , fedora wearing losers that get used and abused by women…nice job proving to the world that you’re a pathetic little twat.

          • Steve Cheney

            The correlation being that those are the men they are usually talking to when they say it?

            Seriously, you’re the biggest fucking fedora on here, and that’s OUR word for making fun of YOU.

          • Nemo

            Can we stop using words like “mansplaining” and just stick with normal, non-divisive words like “bad logic” or “ignorant of actual conditions” or something else that’s more properly descriptive of what exactly is incorrect?

            I don’t like words like this. They derail conversations and should be avoided if you want to make any headway.

          • Don Tread

            You’re right. “This is a good example of conditional ignorance that is more off-putting to its target than it is productive.”

          • Steve Cheney

            “Those women get paid incredible amounts of money and are rarely subjected to anything they are uncomfortable with or didn’t agree to on set prior to contract, that’s business in today’s adult industry.”

            It’s funny because a lot of them say differently. Lots of female porn stars – even high-profile ones – have reported shoots going further than was agreed. Let’s not pretend that porn is just about a few millionaire women making lots of money. For every Jenna Jameson, there are a shitload of women who definitely are NOT making that kind of money. And it’s pretty easy to find videos where women are treated like shit and, unless you have extraordinary faith in their ability to act, clearly are not in control in any way.

          • Max

            Last time I checked, women in porn choose to be there, and don’t do things they don’t enjoy.

          • Mike Lopez

            Sorry but let me get this straight, you’re trying to say Jenna Jameson and pretty much every porn star that takes a giant cock up her ass and waxes her ass hair and stretches her pussy out FOR HER PLEASURE is comparable to a guy getting kicked in the face and in the groin? You’re not seeing the difference are you? This is exactly the same horse shit that Jezebel pulls off but then runs and says SATIRE to not be called a bunch of hypocrites. I call bullshit.

          • Drummerdogg

            I dunno what kinda porn you’re watching, but if you got a link, that would be greatly appreciated.

          • A Cat

            Please get raped and die in a fire… oh wait are you offended? It’s just satire, so it’s cool right? Seriously what type of self-degrading, misandric and sad individual are you…

          • Nemo

            That’s not proper satire, and you know it. You’re fucking up, pussycat.

          • Stephanie Park

            A lot of CFNM femdom pictures at http://dominas8.wix.com/ffvip – updating weekly!

          • omgwtfbbqhax1

            But they get paid 2000USD for the video and the guy gets paid nothing. Females do it for quick cash without working 9-5 job retard

        • ThomasEarlham

          Been to any mainstream porn sites lately? Descriptions of videos constantly use violent language to describe the action. Seriously, go to pornhub right now and search for “destroy” or “demolish.” Even when the sex involved isn’t necessarily rough, the videos are pitched with these words with the assumption that men will find them appealing.

          By the way, I’m a straight male and I certainly enjoy my porn, but you’d have to be in deep denial to not see this satirical article as relevant.

  • MoDare

    What a phooking kunt. I hope someone puts a broken bottle up your tw@t.

    • Nemo

      You’re a charmer, aren’t you?

  • jcr52

    And then the man will beat the shit out of the woman.

    • A man who disagrees with you

      cute

      • jcr52

        No. But true.

  • Dennen Hansen

    I am really not getting how folks aren’t picking up on the satire. IT IS A FAKE ARTICLE, YOU FUCKNUT

    • Hassan Cheaytilli

      I suppose that if I make an satirical article on an MRA blog about how to hurt or “destroy” your wife’s vagina I should get no backlash right? Since its satire??

      What a fucking disgusting pathetic excuse. Like beating your wife and saying “I was just playing.”

      Misandry is misandry, and this website features a lot of it god damn.

      • Verum Serum

        Which MRA blog…..?!?

        Serious question….^^

        • ilolwhat

          Thats the whole point of an indefinite article you spud, its undefined.

      • Steve Cheney

        “I suppose that if I make an satirical article on an MRA blog about how to hurt or “destroy” your wife’s vagina I should get no backlash right? Since its satire??”

        Um, it’s not satire just because you say it is. It has to actually be satirising a subject that exists.

        Satirising something you don’t know to be satire itself doesn’t count either, btw.

      • A man who disagrees with you

        YOU DoONT KNOW WHAT SATIRE MEANS!!! IM SORRY BUT I PROMISE YOU DONT EVEN IF YOU THINK U DO

      • Nemo

        Satire has to actually be making fun of something. A random article saying you want to destroy vaginas is not the same as an article making fun of bad sex advice that would destroy penises.

        I’m sorry that you don’t comprehend things. That must make your life really difficult.

    • wrcheatham

      Jokes about rape, domestic violence, and similar offenses are never okay. You can’t change that when it’s inconvenient for you. And if you catch yourself laughing at the joke and defending it, you don’t get to claim you’re right and all the critics are wrong because you know the “real” meaning of feminism. If it’s one thing I can’t stand it’s people who think they could never be wrong about an issue, simply because they have sincerely held beliefs. Everybody fucks up. If you don’t admit when you’re wrong, you undermine your credibility. There are plenty of misogynists on here commenting up a storm about this. And misogyny is wrong. But the gist of what they’re saying in this case is true. You can disagree with their core beliefs, but they are not always going to be wrong. This time they’re right. And you can’t excuse yourself by saying “IT IS A FAKE ARTICLE” or talking about how it’s just a satirical joke. It backfires.

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  • humann

    no Dennen, this is real. I’ve had my penis destroyed in all of these ways. it always grows back anyway. totally worth it.

    • M Otis Beard

      I get them all over my body. Compound ‘W’ is too slow, and trimming them back with a razor blade doesn’t really help; you have to get a soldering iron and cauterize the root of the thing. You should see the scar I have on my forehead.

      • humann

        wtf are you doing here?! you multi-penis freak you. it must be your outsized liver that’s producing all the extras.

        • M Otis Beard

          I tried to call you so I could explain myself properly, but you seem to have given up cell phones in an attempt to reduce your dysprosium footprint.

          • humann

            actually I’ve been institutionalized in an effort to increase my lithium footprint. no phone, no pool, no pets. if I’m good they might release me in September in time for the salmon run.

          • Dina Strange

            LOL

  • Tom

    As a guy who’s had his penis broken twice, roasted my left testicle, been chewed on so hard and for so long that the head of my big penis took almost 3 months to heal, I’m not too worried by this tame stuff. Is that all you’ve got?

    • Amanda Leigh

      lmao

    • zach

      holy shit, is this really the dude from the penis museum movie?

      • Tom

        Yeah. Is this a movie guy? Elmo The Penis says HI

  • Fliggy

    Oh boy, I sure do love me some domestic abuse!

  • Justaguy

    This is obviously how feminists would have sex with a man, but then, they don’t know how to have sex which is why they are angry feminists with penis envy. :)

    • Steve Cheney

      But on the plus side, it’s good that you’re working through your anger.

    • Nemo

      Nobody envies your penis. I promise you.

  • Evie_L

    Do you write for Cosmo? Nah, this stuff is too tame for Cosmo.

  • Dina Strange

    Raspberry beret is my number of choice. But all of them are good.

  • jajay12

    Imagine a similar article about women… how to effectively destroy her vagina. stick a knife in it. you’d be called out for advocating violence against women. This is absurd.

    • Steve Cheney

      You know that “destroying the pussy” is one of the creepier works that frat boys use to refer to sex, right?

      I mean, I’m not saying Google that phrase, but… yeah, do that.

      • Billy Plante

        Yes, because saying “destroy the pussy” means they plan on punching, smashing, kneeing, burning her in her genitals, and then totally making fun of it. I see just how those are totally the same now.

        • Steve Cheney

          Wow, you mean men don’t literally want to obliterate women’s vaginas? I don’t see how that observation could be relevant to this article.

        • Don Tread

          This article is a satiric and hyperbolic response to phrases like “wreck the pussy”, “destroy the pussy”, or “ruin the pussy”. The poster probably doesn’t appreciate those terms, and is showing the bros who use them what she feels like when she hears them. If you don’t use those terms yourself, you are not the target for the mockery and should not take it personally.

          • Billy Plante

            Except the “satiric” nature of this article is one of hostility towards men. When “dudebros” use words like wreck the pussy, they are not inferring actual violence on the woman. THAT is the difference.

            So let me spell this out for the slow kids in the room.
            This article has normal names which are terms for literally destroying a man’s genitalia
            “Dudebros” have names which seem like they are going to destroy a woman’s genitalia, but in actuality are meant to give her pleasure, or at least that is the aim.

            Had this article been saying things like “THE SMASHER!” which was some term for an aggressive handjob, which was intended to bring the man pleasure, then absolutely it would be in the same vein.

            This article however, is about causing violence towards men. That is not ok. Sorry to burst your misandry bubble.

          • dicklover

            I see where you are coming from…but I do believe the intent of the article was to make fun of all the “sex advice” aimed toward women.
            At the same time, anyone that doesn’t think Billy Plante has a point is also missing the point. This article can be read several ways. That’s what, actually, makes it a good article. It engages the audience instead of just forcing an opinion on the audience.
            I do believe that “partly” this article is speaking about the violence of language that is a part of stereotyped behavior of men.
            I also think it’s a satire of sex columns in magazines.
            I don’t think it’s wrong to read it either way.

          • Billy Plante

            Holy crap! Somebody that actually took the time to think about a different point of view and not just post reactionary garbage.

            Thank you! You are awesomesauce! And I love the name by the way ;)

            The only thing I would point out is that if this was indeed an article that was making fun of sex advice articles, it should probably have had the woman as the butt end of the joke at least some of the time.

            Maybe “The Sexy Trip n’Fall” where you look sexy for your man, but then trip over the edge of the carpet and fall on your face, inadvertently mule kicking him in the balls as you go down!”

            Had the woman been part of the “joke” it would seem much more like it was a mockery of sex advice articles. As it stands, it just seems like it’s how can we inflict pain on men because that is what we perceive men do to women. And most of the comments seem to support that, with people taking the zero sum revenge game; “Well men do X to women and say Y to them so they deserve it!”

          • dicklover

            Very few comments sections are able to sustain an intelligent conversation, where both (or multiple) sides of a discussion can be seen as accurate. Mostly if a person has a different point of view they just get skewered by the raging p.c. police.

          • adfasdfadfs

            “The Sexy Trip n’Fall” where you look sexy for your man, but then trip
            over the edge of the carpet and fall on your face, inadvertently mule
            kicking him in the balls as you go down!”

            actually happened to me once(well it was a kick to the chest/stomach not balls)

          • annnon

            its not funny to make women the butt end of the joke because women are the marginalized group. Women make up the majority of aggression, rapes, and sexual violence therefore making fun of it isn’t okay because you’re making fun of something that is a REAL issue. Using men on the other hand act as a hypothetical spring board for this humor not because men never have violence toward them but because men are the make up a large majority of those giving sexual harassment behaviors, having privileged and displaying “wreakthispussy” degrading behaviors. This switch is what makes it funny, to break it down to YOU, slowly: It is just a joke kiddo, don’t take it personally. You shouldn’t be telling people how to tell their jokes anyway. not everyone has the same sense of humor as you and they aren’t here to appease you.

          • omgwtfbbqhax1

            Females are ‘marginalized group’? Lol? Go die of cancer, you and your family

          • http://mensrightsaustralia.com/ Robert Brockway

            “I see where you are coming from…but I do believe the intent of the article was to make fun of all the “sex advice” aimed toward women.”

            That’s certainly an interpretation. The problem is that articles which advocate violence by women against men are widespread today. These articles, were the genders reversed, would result in the publication getting censured and the author fired. That’s if they actually got published which is unlikely. The typical response to complaints about these sorts of articles is that they are intended to be humorous or satirical.

            The Duluth model (widely used in the US by law enforcement) explicitly emphasises DV/IPV against women and minimises DV/IPV against men. This despite the wealth of evidence suggesting DV/IPV is largely generational, non-gendered and often bidirectional.

            The acceptance, tolerance and even endorsement of violence against men and the lack of support they will receive from the state is a contributing factor to the rapid rise of the MGTOW movement. If you haven’t heard of it before I recommend you look in to it.

            Having yet another article which endorses violence against men isn’t humorous or satirical. It’s just normal.

          • Elijah Moses

            LOL @ YOU! You’re a dumbshit if you think this article endorses violence against men. I read it and laughed. I didn’t shrivel up and think it was real, because I’m not a fucking moron.

          • http://mensrightsaustralia.com/ Robert Brockway

            It’s easy to throw insults when sitting at a computer. Do you speak to people that way normally?

          • guesticon

            The only fucking moron here is you, you illeterate knob. Hope you have a stroke you cunt.

          • M!

            I disagree, BillyP. (Yay for rhymes!) You state: “‘Dudebros’ have names which seem like they are going to destroy a woman’s genitalia, but in actuality are meant to give her pleasure, or at least that is the aim.”
            I absolutely do not believe that men who talk this way REALLY intend to give women pleasure. They might not intend to inflict pain on a woman, mind you, but I think it is their OWN pleasure that they are after, and for the vast majority of them**, a woman’s pleasure is neither here nor there. Usually ‘dudebros’ who talk this way don’t look at women as people who deserve equal pleasure and respect, they look at them as conquests or outlets for their own personal gain.
            (**not “them” as men, mind you, but “them” as men who use such arguably misogynistic phrases).

            For the record, I do think that there is a bit of a double standard in this article, even if it is supposed to read as satire. It made me cringe a bit and it would make me cringe even more if the genders were reversed.

          • A Cat

            Stop saying bros. You sound like an idiotic teenager. This isn’t satire, it’s a failure of context.

          • Don Tread

            Saying men or guys is too broad a term. If you’re talking about beer-sucking, high fiving, can crushing gorillas, bros should do fine.

          • Anon

            I was pretty sure this article was a satire on those dumb articles in girly mags (cosmo, elle, etc) that are all like “30 new sex moves to blow his mind” “100 sex tricks that’ll keep him wanting more” and they’re full of TERRIBLE ADVICE like telling you to use your teeth “just a little” or to twist his nipples for something new and erotic. On top of the advice being bad, it always ends with “aaaaanndd, now touch him on the dick”. You wanna know why girls try weird crap that is more ridiculous/painful than pleasurable? look no farther than these vapid idiotic fashion/lifestyle mags. Seriously- men, pick one up sometime and read the sex advice. utterly ridiculous.

          • Ded Kitty

            I’m a man. I don’t feel the least threatened by this puerile stuff. If women find it entertaining, let them. Men should not fret about such things

          • Cloudbowski

            I don’t appreciate hearing women threaten to rip off men’s genitals for trivial actions, and this is on TV, in the office and is deemed acceptable.

          • Elijah Moses

            Cool brand new sockpuppet account, bro. Which office do you work in, where this supposedly is deemed acceptable? I’d love to drag my balls through there sometime.

          • http://www.reallifesolutions.ownanewbusiness.com Bentina

            Thank you so much for this clarification Don…I was totally unaware when I clicked that it was satire and my mouth was literally on the floor…I had to make sense of it in the comments… if not for you I would still be wondering WTF I just read? LOL …I feel a bit old now though..not ever hearing the terms “ruin the pussy” and whatnot to actually know this was a parody :P …I’m usually pretty on top of that stuff. Must have been the drawings ;) ya…I’ll go with that.

          • Leibfarce

            Ah yes, we’ll forever excuse behavior in women that we would never excuse in men – especially in regards to how women treat men.

            I think saying “ruin the pussy” is a little different than purposely kneeing someone in the fucking face and then the balls.

            This was over the top.

            And you could say “Should not take it personally” to a great majority of things women and feminists complain about.

            The double standards stop.

          • anyone

            You are not being marginalized. This article is not part of a system of oppression targeted at you. If you’re concerned about double standards let’s talk about equal pay for equal work, ok?

          • Leibfarce

            People have, and that idea has been thoroughly debunked by anyone with a thinking brain.

            You think the way you do because of feminist standpoint theory.

            You are disgusting.

          • omgwtfbbqhax1

            Pay gap exists because females dont work in same occupation as men. How about equal probability of dying from work related accident vs equal pay? Or you believe one of those 200000 coal miners that are killed every year (to give you electricity so you can write your shitty posts on the internet), get paid equal or less pay than a female deskjob secretary?

            Hypocrite feminazis like you constantly foam at your mouth regarding equal pay, but shun equal work. How about recruiting equal 50:50 gender ratio of coal miners, construction worker, deep sea oil drillers, nuclear waste cleaners etc so equal number of males and females can die from work? After a this is a necessary occupation to maintain modern civilization so females need to shed same blood and give up their lives like men if they want equal pay

          • guesticon

            you mean that imaginary bullshit feminists keep sputing even though its been proven bullshit?

            http://www.forbes.com/fdc/welcome_mjx.shtml

            Lets not, and talk about your bullshit sexism

        • Hailey WhisperingRose

          There IS a fetish and a whole line of porn for that…. as well as abusing pregnant women, abusing the breasts, scarring women, putting them in cages, raping them, that are 100% serious…. i think we can stand to not be a crybaby about ONE satirical article, hmm?

          • Billy Plante

            You mean the one that almost double the amount of women watch than men?

            http://www.pornhub.com/insights/what-women-want/

            This are the categories of what women search for more than men, and how much more so than men.

            For Women – 193%
            Lesbian – 132%
            Solo Male – 103%
            Hardcore – 102%
            Rough Sex – 93%
            Double Penetration – 83%
            Gangbang – 80%
            Bondage – 77%

            I think we could stand by and let “ONE satirical article” go by IF we knew that the opposite wouldn’t spark international outrage. So no, this one doesn’t get a free pass.

          • http://www.facebook.com/kilmamusic Kilma Music

            So I guess you’re unable to stand by any satire article ever because there will always be someone somewhere that could possibly be offend at some point and time, right?

          • Billy Plante

            This would actually be a funny article which I would have absolutely no issue with except for one fact. If this was done as the reverse, there would literally be international outrage. If you are ok with double standards, that’s your business, but I am not ok with them.

            I have a very simple test to see if someone is sexist.

            Take something a woman does/did, and see how they react.
            Now take that same scenario, switch the genders, are you reacting the same way?
            Congrats on not being a sexist!!!!

            So give me a totally honest answer. If this were an article by a man, “joking” about some cutesy sex names, but talking about punching a girl in the vagina, would you be ok with it?

          • Alex

            I too absolutely hate the double standards that permeate a lot of feminist conversation and ideology. I also use the reverse-the-gender test and it’s pretty shocking how often it picks up on some disgraceful practice. I’m pretty sure I saw a ‘torso of the week’ in heat a few years ago that featured 17 year old boy.

            However, I disagree with you saying the phrase “destroy/wreck her pussy” is fine because these boys don’t actually want to enact violence on the woman. It’s not. It’s not harmless in the same way that a lot of derogatory words and terms that are flung about are not harmless. Language has an incredible subliminal effect on society, especially on those of an impressionable age/nature, who know the connotations of the word “destroy” and are now link it with female genitalia.

            Also, imaging sitting around with a bunch of female friends and having one of them point out a guy and tell you she’s love to crush his dick. It sounds creepy, if not threatening.

          • Billy Plante

            Please show me where I said “wreck her pussy” is fine. I said what the connotation was, not that it was ok. What is being compared in this article is NOT the same as “wreck her pussy” or other similar comments.

          • Alex

            It is the same! It’s swapping the gender roles and then expanding on to what the comment actually indicates, in the form of a satirised sex tips page. No, I have never seen the exact equivalent of this illustrating how to “wreck a pussy”, but that’s what makes it a clever elaboration of the point whilst also a sly poke at the sensationalism of a lot of modern sex advice.

          • Billy Plante

            fail

          • Alex

            Hah, you’re kidding, please.

          • Nemo

            You sure did.

          • http://www.facebook.com/kilmamusic Kilma Music

            Before we get into “double standards” let’s talk about pornography for a moment shall we.

            Do you watch porn Billy?
            Do you feel it’s okay for both men and women to use their bodies to sell a produce?
            Should people be allowed to express themselves in any and all ways as long as is it to their liking and in their control?

          • Billy Plante

            yup

          • Guest

            There are various sites which will switch genders in an article for you. Eg, http://regender.com

          • Hailey Rose

            your statistics are total bullshite.

          • http://www.facebook.com/kilmamusic Kilma Music

            There is the other dark side of porn too were they cut out of those “glorified videos.” The men and women that leave that industry definitely have a thing or two to say about their treatment and safety on the line.

          • Leibfarce

            And? Porn actresses are doing a job – and, by the way, males are overwhelmingly objectified in porn while women are subjectified.

            You are trying to excuse a blatant double standard.

            You’re not even worth arguing with.

            And if you think men and women in America aren’t equal, you’re a fuckin’ loon living in a nightmare of your own design.

      • Mike Lopez

        Because saying that is equivalent to actually placing a knife near a woman’s vagina or for that matter punching it, stomping on it or stretching it….

        • Steve Cheney

          Of course not. But this article isn’t doing this. They’re just joking about it. So it is exactly the same. Except, of course, that being incredibly entitled, you think it is worse. That’s literally the only difference.

          • Mike Lopez

            ‘entitled’, you Feminists make me laugh, you always seem to put a new spin on words that have existed for the longest time and try to redefine them. I guess that’s why they also want to redefine rape as regretful sex the morning after. Absolutely pathetic, just like you’re sad excuse for calling yourself a man, but pandering to immature little girls in the Feminist movement just because they have a vagina.

          • Steve Cheney

            And that’s the last square on my MRA bingo card: MRA cannot conceive of men agreeing with feminists unless they’re trying to get laid.

            I’m gay, just so you know, but even if I weren’t, this would be a fucking idiotic comment. Just accept that you “men’s rights” types don’t represent men, at all. Men hate you.

          • Verum Serum

            I think you mean Anti-Feminist Bingo Card otherwise you must sitting in front of the computer way to much.
            For every MRA there are at least a dozen Anti-Feminists and not all MRA’s are anti-feminists but they usually become one when they are only meet with contempt no matter their behaviour and discourse.

            Do you prefer the basic one that covers all of the basic sentences they supposedly get as a retort al the time.

            Or the second one which is a even better one which is the Evolutionary Psychology Straw Man bingo, which is a favourite to use in all of the inane Women’s Studies courses. All that’s missing is a trilby…….. ^o^

          • Steve Cheney

            In my experience, the MRAs are all anti-feminist. The ones that mouth off about how feminism should be called “egalitarianism” are pretty much the same idiots pre-escalation, with the same problem – i.e. that they believe they can intuit everything they need to know about a movement from superficial details.

            Men’s rights “activism” is a joke precisely because the only “activity” involves hurling abuse at women for not doing men’s activism for them quickly enough.

          • Natalius

            “Men’s rights “activism” is a joke precisely because the only “activity”
            involves hurling abuse at women for not doing men’s activism for them
            quickly enough.”

            Yet all I see from feminism is them hurling abuse at men for not doing female’s activism for them quickly enough.

          • Verum Serum
          • Verum Serum

            Here is a video about that from someone who was working with boys and men in education before he even was introduced to the MRM…..

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzmSzlQROv8

          • https://twitter.com/Delixcroix SeereDelixcroix .

            Womens righst is also a joke. Sadly nobody laughs at that one. Its only funny when Men are Institutionally enslaved because they have no reproductive rights :<

            ….

            Haha Just a little Feminist All Men deserve death my movement isn't a murder cult humor :D @Delixcroix come at me xD

          • wrcheatham

            Jokes about rape, domestic violence, and similar offenses are never okay. Think about that for a sec. Then try to enjoy this article. It doesn’t matter if you like it or laugh at it. It’s not okay, and you can’t pull the “stop criticizing me” card every time somebody disagrees with you, just b/c you happen to call yourself a “feminist.”

          • A Cat

            You sound like a bigot trying to defend a racist cartoon. How about I write an article joking about beating and raping women? “It’s just satire”, right?

            Go fuck yourself, feminists like you have destroyed any reputation it had left.

          • Steve Cheney

            “You sound like a bigot trying to defend a racist cartoon. ”

            How’s that?

            “How about I write an article joking about beating and raping women? “It’s just satire”, right?”

            No. As I explained further up the thread, satire has to satirise a subject that has some real-world basis. There are probably other criteria, but you already fail on this one so there’s not a huge amount of point in going further.

            “Go fuck yourself, feminists like you have destroyed any reputation it had left.”

            Actually, feminism’s reputation remains intact, because it actually achieved and continues to achieve all kinds of things. No one is forcing you to find this article hilarious, but the fact that you think feminism needs its “reputation” to be completely unsullied by a few shit jokes shows how little you understand.

            Unlike the “men’s rights movement”, the feminist movement has actual accomplishments to fall back on. It can easily demonstrate that it is not “misandric”, and that a minority who may demonstrate such views clearly don’t represent it. MRAs can’t do that, because their movement has achieved nothing and does not even try to.

            Point being, feminism is doing just fine. Your opinion of it genuinely does not matter, in that regard.

          • Anders

            feminis is doing fine and continue doing fine? lels :D http://www.cultural-misandry.com/mens-rights/ feminism today is a joke, the latest thing “10 hour walk in ny” is a lame attempt of self promotion and scamming money

          • omgwtfbbqhax1

            Right. Lets joke about kicking your mom in her vagina. Sounds very sexually exciting.

          • Steve Cheney

            I guess, if you like having your shoes sucked off by pink stinky quicksand.

            But hey, whatever floats your penis.

      • Mitchell General

        Oh yeah, because only frat boys say “destroy the pussy” and no other guy does. Check yourself, Cheney.

      • wrcheatham

        Wait, so, rape jokes are never okay, but there’s a time and a place for domestic violence jokes?

    • Drummerdogg

      F*cked with a knife??

    • BelleElle

      I’m pretty sure that this article is just making fun of the awful sex tips in Cosmo and other woman’s magazines.
      Plenty of the advice tips in those articles (that mean well) would also destroy a man’s penis, in the least pleasant way possible.

      I laughed, not because violence to men is funny, but because it reminds me of all the all so ‘helpful’ advice that ladies’ magazines give.

      • Anon

        EXACTLY!

      • Mikey Lavelle

        Still if it was reversed and was taking the piss out of a similar mens magazine (not that men read many)… it would have feminists up in arms.

        • A man who disagrees with you

          the thing is, unless youre satirising something else, it’s not actually satire. So if men’s magazines had a well known prevelance of giving weird and terrible sex advice and there was an article genuinly satirising it, there wouldn’t be a problem

          • Don Tread

            Satire and parody are different things.

          • A man who disagrees with you

            Did I mention parody? I do know what that is…

          • bovii

            Liar

          • kittendelight

            YOU GET IT! Parodying something is ridiculing the original, not ridiculing men or suggesting women destroy their penises. Successful rape jokes work in the same manner so it’s not “sexism” since a man can make a rape joke that doesn’t trivialize what victims go through. Considering there is a huge problem with sexual violence against women I think a parody of advice to men would be like the list “how not to rape a woman”.

          • Jakey

            A youtuber called Anna Akanna just made a video called “How to not get raped” it was such a good example of parodying and not sexism

        • Alexandra

          so basically what you’re saying is you feel personally victimized by this article? sounds like you’re finding some common-ground with the “feminists”.

        • Whitney

          Well then all men should be up in arms!!! … I’ll wait.

      • bovii

        I could probably rationalize laughing at rape jokes, but I don’t. Laugh that is.

      • wrcheatham

        It doesn’t matter if it’s satire or makes you laugh. Jokes about rape, domestic violence, and similar offenses are never okay.

        • jesus

          yes they are.

    • Hailey WhisperingRose

      actually I’m pretty sure if you type in “destroy her vagina” you’ll literally get millions of exact word for word results…. whereas if you type “destroy his penis” you’re lucky to find one page of scraggley “iffy” not so relevant items. Just sayin.

    • Porst

      Yes. That’s the whole point. It’s very obvious satire towards both women’s magazines and patriarchal sexual values. If you don’t get that, that’s your problem.

      • wrcheatham

        Jokes about rape, domestic violence, and similar offenses are never okay. It doesn’t matter how satirical or funny it is. It’s not okay. And you can’t pull the “stop criticizing me” card every time somebody disagrees with you, just b/c you happen to call yourself a “feminist.”

        • Porst

          You can’t draw the universal line at what is okay to joke about. You can draw your OWN line for what offends you personally, but at least admit that’s what you’re doing. Anything can be satirized in proper context. You’re allowed to dislike that but it doesn’t make it any less true.

    • TroubleWithStairs

      Oh yeah, it would be *terrible* if someone out there was giving tips on how to “crush” women, especially if, unlike this article, they were actually serious.
      http://www.pimpingmygame.com/

      • Natalius

        You’re comparing an article in which it gives women tips on how to physically assault a man to a website designed on verbal communication and consent from women?

        Feminist logic 101 right there.

    • Rick Leonardi

      Thats feminism for you; its okay as long as women aren’t the victim of the crime.

      • A man who disagrees with you

        rick, this is not the case

        • wrcheatham

          Jokes about rape, domestic violence, and similar offenses are never okay. When people who agree with that statement nonetheless condone what is obviously a joke about domestic violence, and then try to fend off critics by saying that none of them really understand feminism, you really undermine the credibility of your beliefs. You can’t claim that everybody who disagrees with you is automatically wrong just b/c you consider yourself a feminist. You’re not infallible.

          • A man who disagrees with you

            Im not putting my time into a copy pasted response

      • Nemo

        You think that because you don’t understand what “context” means.

        There are no men’s magazines that give shitty sex advice that would actually harm a woman. Or if there are, they’re so rare that no one knows about them. Women’s magazines, however, give shitty sex advice all the time.

        In this case, there’s an actual topic to satirize. There’s not an equivalent to satirize in men’s magazines, so there’s no point in writing an article about it.

        Unless of course, you’re one of the people who believes this is also satirizing the tendency to talk about sex exclusively in terms of conquest in some groups. Women might do the same thing sometimes, but you don’t hear women talking about “tearing up” or “destroying” a dude’s sex organs when they really enjoyed fuckin’ somebody. I don’t really think this article is as much about that as the shitty sex advice though. I am not a regular Reductress reader, so I can only comment on the more obvious aspect of the satire presented.

    • Josh Smith

      not much wit involved in your article if your knife suggestion is anything to go by.

    • Jerome Alexandre

      Jajay12 my thoughts exactly , let’s hope some terrible accident happens and the writer gets sued.

      • Nemo

        It won’t, she won’t, nor should she just because of your inability to understand satire.

    • Billtron

      stop with the faux rage.

    • mrmegadoosher

      you may or may not be right, but be honest with yourself: would that even be funny?
      no, because men dont read things like cosmo, which this is obviously referencing. thats why its so damn funny–its an extreme parody of something that everyone has seen everywhere for years, and something that women have actually been looking (and likely laughing) at for just as long. all we as men really have is mens health.. which isnt nearly as wide spread, or at least paid attention to. hannibal burress tells jokes about it (and doesnt get attacked for advocating violence against women), and in my opinion thats all you need to hear. its funny, but its not worth wasting your time on drawings and shit. but by all means, please make it. id laugh

    • Anon

      College age young men make jokes all of the time about wrecking/destroying/beating up etc. etc. etc. a woman’s sex organ. Lighten up. It’s a joke. You need to get laid.

  • http://makjang-oppa.tumblr.com/ Makjang Oppa

    MRAs who think satire is real. L-O-FUCKING-L

    • Hassan Cheaytilli

      Feminists who think hatred and violence against an entire gender is comedy. L-O-FUCKING-L

      • http://makjang-oppa.tumblr.com/ Makjang Oppa

        It’s not real you fucking dumb shits. But, I guess it’s only satire if YOU think it’s funny. Right?

        • John Doe Jane Doe

          So if someone made an article like this but about women instead you would be perfectly ok with that? Would you call the women who get angry at that article “fucking dumb shits”?

          • Nemo

            There aren’t men’s magazines giving terrible sex advice or women talking about destroying penises as code for sex.

            Try again.

          • John Doe Jane Doe

            So that makes it ok?

          • Nemo

            Yes.

            Satire points out specific things that are bad. In this case, women’s sex advice columns are terrible. You wanna bitch about how crazy this advice is? Go find one of those columns and complain there, where people are delivering it earnestly.

            Or, alternatively, if you believe this article is about guys who think it’s really clever to say they “destroyed” a vagina as code for having really good sex, then go find a bunch of frat boys to make feel bad about their word choices.

            For everyone else who recognizes that this is satire, no further action or indignation is necessary.

            If you can find me examples of bad sex advice in men’s columns, or if you can find women making widespread use of terms like “destroy that dick” as code for really good sex, then come back to me. But you won’t, so you might as well give up now. Or come back to me when you understand what satire is, because you clearly don’t.

        • omgwtfbbqhax1

          Lets make a satire article about cuntpunting your mom so everyone can ROFL at it

    • Mike Lopez

      White knights who think that agreeing with women will make them want to touch your pee pee…

      • Steve Cheney

        Idiots using the phrase “white knights” while trying to prove themselves better than those mean ol’ misandrists who constantly reject men’s opinions purely on the basis of gender, right?

      • http://makjang-oppa.tumblr.com/ Makjang Oppa

        *whispers* I don’t have one of those.

      • http://makjang-oppa.tumblr.com/ Makjang Oppa

        Also, I DO NOT advocate violence against men. Ever. This is a satirical article and just like every other form of media, there are some nut jobs who think the writers are talking specifically to them. Turns out in this one it’s people who think it is some kind of message that women want to hurt men. This is not the case. Quit acting like a persecuted whino. Seriously, get out there. Meet someone. Meet lots of ones. Do something. Don’t actively seek out a feminist satirical site (like The Onion) and complain about jokes. Especially when every time someone has a complaint against using women or minorities as cheap joke fodder YOU and your “bros” will go “But it’s just a fucking joke. Get a sense of humor.” So take your own advice.

        • A Cat

          ” I DO NOT advocate violence against men. Ever.”

          By supporting this article, yes you do.

          • http://makjang-oppa.tumblr.com/ Makjang Oppa

            No. Because I understand that THIS ISN’T REAL. It’s an article bringing light to something, but OK. You just keep thinking that I advocate violence against men. I’m going to go back to enjoying the joke.

          • Nemo

            No, you don’t.

      • Nemo

        Stop spewing the same tired bullshit line about “white knights”. It’s not worthwhile as an argument against MRAs that they can’t get laid, and it’s no more compelling when hurled in the other direction.

  • John Dugan

    Whether satire or not, the fact is that sometimes a guy does
    get a sore penis from sex – and needs to regularly use a quality penis health
    cream (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) with natural moisturizers
    and antioxidants to attend to the soreness.

    • A man who disagrees with you

      this is a really good ad. im impressed it managed to address the comments

  • Steve Cheney

    I think I peed.

    • A man who disagrees with you

      oh cool

  • Kari Auerbach

    The comments are even better than the article!

  • 1bogrits1

    STUPID ARTICLE>

    • Nemo

      STUPID COMMENT>

  • Jigger VanQuish

    How to counter these… 1) Donkey punch that bitch. 2) Punch that bitch in the face. 3) backhand that bitch 4) BITCH COMING AT ME WITH DRY ICE?!?!? BITCH GONNA DIE! 5) clench your ass cheeks and rip that bitch’s fingers off, then shit them out on bitch’s face. 6) Headbutt that bitch 7) Bitch gonna experience 50 shades of gettin’ beaten the fuck up if she tries to tie MY hands 8) If the bitch knees you in the face whilst you are eating her out, bite her clit off and spit it out on her face…….. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! SATIRE, RIGHT?@!?!?

    • A man who disagrees with you

      Some people just do not know the meaning of the word Satire omg

    • Nemo

      You’re a horrifying piece of work.

  • A Cat

    I was expecting just wild sex positions for the girl to take dominance and claim they’re wrecking that dick or something similar… Instead it’s just different ways to cause physical pain and suffering.

    This is fucking disgusting.

    • Nemo

      Yeah, like how it’s disgusting the way lots of men talking about “wrecking pussy” or how magazines like Cosmo give really shitty sex advice, but deliver it GENUINELY as if it’s actually a good idea.

      What’s it like lacking any comprehension of reality or the world around you?

  • Daryl

    Now switch the genders

    • A man who disagrees with you

      fucking daryl i swear people really need to learn that theres more to “satire” than “not mean to be taken literally”
      it’s literally making fun of women’s magazine sex tips ok??

  • Barbie Barbie

    Trying to hurt your partner purposefully is in no way funny. This was written by a man hating feminist. Wife likes clit stimulation? Have your woman lie on her back and mount her reverse-cowboy style, facing her feet and holding her legs open. Now grab her clit between index finger and thumb and twist and turn like your trying to free a cork out of wine bottle with a broken corkscrew. The painful grip is sure to destroy her vagina and cause her maximum pleasure.

    • Nemo

      You are a moron, which is why you commented anonymously. Or a troll. Jesus, what is it with people who don’t understand what satire is? This is making fun of bad sex advice columns in women’s magazines. What the fuck is wrong with you people that you need to find any flimsy excuse to hate “feminism” (which is code for anything involving gender that makes you even mildly uncomfortable, not actually referring to feminism)?

  • Nina Booker

    After a good half an hour of reading the comments, it’s quite funny how sensitive men get to something as petty as this whereas we women, just kind of have to deal with it and if WE speak out about it we’re ‘bitchy feminists’. Rape jokes and being advertised as sex objects…this is the kind of thing we have to deal with EVERY DAY. So all the men who are saying “what if the tables were turned”, no my friend, the tables have already been turned. Take a chill pill for a sec.

  • prolibertate

    Why would such a man hating woman want to have sex with a man? Why would she be in a relationship with a man? Maybe such women should try being lesbians…

  • John Doe Jane Doe

    Hahahahaha sexual assault is hilarious

    • A man who disagrees with you

      article is SATIRISING both “girl lemme destory your pussy” “*every cosmo sex tip*”. take a seaattt

      • jcr52

        I agree the phrase destroy a woman’s pussy is bad, even though almost no male in the world would actually ever want to do that. But what bad sex advice has Cosmo ever given that condoned violence?

  • poopstore

    The first one and the pretzel actually seem kinda nice.

  • CrosbyTee

    This is just more feminist hate against men.

    • Nemo

      Jesus, how many times am I gonna have to google shit for you idiots. This is a satire of bad sex advice columns. Here is what is being made fun of, which you clearly don’t understand because you only came to a women’s satire site in order to shit on women: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=bad+sex+advice+from+cosmo

  • Cornelius Van Huff

    I have a feeling the person who wrote this has never seen a penis before

  • Hailey WhisperingRose

    For every guy here trying to pull a reverse feminism card: Please get over yourself.

    Reason 1) If you really believed “the woman” was holding you down, you’d care and do something about it outside of using it as a reason to bitch about a joke article making fun of penises, or as a defense when a feminist raises an actual point…. which 99% of you most likely haven’t. Because in reality you don’t *actually* feel kept down by society for being a guy. Because why should you.

    Reason 2) There IS a fetish and a whole line of porn for abuse of women’s genitals. Multiple, both live, animated, amatuer and professional… as well as abusing pregnant women, abusing the breasts, scarring women, putting them in cages, raping them, that are 100% serious. Oh, and hey, let’s not forget all of these things are things that also happen to women in REAL LIFE. ALL THE TIME. …. i think we can stand to not be a crybaby about ONE satirical article, hmm?

    • omgwtfbbqhax1

      Fucking ugly feminist hope you never reproduce and proliferate your ugly genes into homo sapiens gene pool

  • TorqueFliteSiliconCoozeHavarti

    You femininsts wonder why nobody takes you seriously anymore. You feminists can’t see why sensible people are labelling yours as a hate movement. You feminists don’t understand why even your fellow women are starting to turn away from you. Yet you keep endorsing articles about castration, #killallmen, ending fathers day and others. And now, “destroying his genitals through sex”? Wow. You idiots have gone off the deep end into radical stupidity, and I hope you wake up from it one day.

    • Nemo

      Sensible people are doing no such thing. Angry people who don’t know what to do with all their bile sure seem to be real up on shitting on feminism.

      You’re pretty much as bad as any misandrist, friend.

      • TorqueFliteSiliconCoozeHavarti

        You believe what those feminists say about equality, while they only care of equal treatment for themselves. I hope the pussy you’re getting is worth it, friend, because I don’t agree with feminazi sympathizers like you. You are a sad excuse of a man.

  • James Dosher

    To me the issue is how satirical this article would be views if you switched the genders. #1 Pound that pussy painfully and don’t stop until you’ve wrecked that vagina. Re-energize your relationship. #2 Take your lady out to a romantic dinner and a movie. When you get home have you and two male co-workers jump her for an all-night Viagra and Red Bull session. She will never see it coming, but you’ll laugh together while watching the video later. Sweet memories! #3 Whip out that dildo and pleasure your lady. Keep it up. No matter how much she screams and cries, destroy that vagina. Tears of pleasure, Baby. #4 Your girl has two holes down there. Dry ice up the ass and ice cubes up her pussy. How cool is that? #5 She’ll love it when you stick a dildo up her butt and then bounce her up and down on a saw horse. That’s Horsing Around for you. #6 Tie your lovers hands and ankles together behind her back then keep trying to lift her off the ground by her clitoris. Its a growing experience. #7 Spread eagle bondage, a vibrator or two stuffed in her snatch and wait for those batteries to run dry. Its electric. #8 Knee your partner in her face and while she is stunned, punch her in the vagina. That’s a laugh riot. Apparently this is also satirical to some people. I’m not sure why.

    • Nemo

      Difference between your bullshit intended to stir up dumb people and this article:

      The things you listed actually happen. They aren’t being pulled and embellished from bad sex advice columns the way the shit in this article is. They are things that people actually do. Looots of men actually talk about wrecking vaginas. Some men actually gang rape women. Some men actually videotape women and then publish that shit online without consent. And lots of actual men abuse women for fun.

      There are no men’s magazines giving such bad sex advice that we all can regularly ridicule how terrible it is. And while there are abusive women in the world, and that should absolutely be addressed, there are not women who talk about “wrecking penis”.

      So unfortunately, what you posted has no relevance to the intent of the article we’re commenting on. I’m sorry your feels got hurt though.

  • kb7rky

    What the…I say…WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS HORSESHIT?

    Lady…you’ve got some fucking issues with those of the male persuasion that need to be addressed.

    God have mercy on you.

  • Jols

    so this is how girls feel when you talk about destroying their genitals like it’s a good thing.

  • Chris

    I prefer the old fashioned Dick Ripper 9000

  • Aya

    well… BDSM ?… Boi is M , Gril is S ? nice thou ~

  • Cloudbowski

    Let’s turn the tables, how would you feel if it were the other way round?

    “Playing with temperatures is an easy and fun way to spice things up in the bedroom. An ice cube up her vagina will feel amazing. Dry ice up her vagina will burn off the skin. Consider that vagina destroyed!”

    This, regardless of it’s sentiment would cause WWIII, it’s not even funny, it just wreaks of hatred and should not be on such a high-profile site. I came across this on Facebook too, I have reported it as I don’t believe it should be there and it genuinely offends me.

    I’m really stunned as to how some of the commenters find this funny.

    • A man who disagrees with you

      The sentence sounds kind of funny, but the fact is it’s not actually satirising anything like this article is with dumb cosmo sex tips. chill

      • Cloudbowski

        Where’s the satire, show me a cosmo article advocating sexual abuse as advice?

        • A man who disagrees with you

          Show yourself ok! It’s dramatising terrible sex advice, dramatising is a part of satirising. I have sex with men and I am a man and i can advocate that from both perspectives, dsetorying a penis is a terrible idea.

          • Cloudbowski

            My problem isn’t the advice its self, its the double standards in mainstream media, regarding what’s acceptable to publish / air.
            Its fully acceptable to make a joke about ripping / cutting / chopping off a man’s ‘bits’ pre-watershed, for something like forgetting a woman’s birthday, but try reversing it!

            I just think we should have a level playing field, not one rule for one and one for the other.

        • Nemo
  • Cloudbowski

    Hey, where did my comment go? Truth hurts?

    • Cloudbowski

      it was along the lines of…

      Imagine if the following appeared on a male rights site, WWIII would be started.

      “Playing with temperatures is an easy and fun way to spice things up in the bedroom. An ice cube up her vagina will feel amazing. Dry ice up her vagina will burn off the skin. Consider that vagina destroyed!”

      Its horrible isn’t it, regardless of the sentiment. What a horrible, nasty article, it wreaks of hatred.

  • Cloudbowski

    Ok so you keep deleting my comments, very mature, please could you explain the reason?

  • Adam H

    The best way to sort this out is to ask “would I want my or anyone’s children to read this? Free speech yes, sure, people bashing, not so sure. Exposure to children, definitely out.

    • Nemo

      Wait, do you let children read sex articles in general then?

  • Jules

    Frankly hilarious! Thought it was going to be another of “those” articles, but no, I was belly laughing all the way through. I mean this is a clear piss-take at all those articles that think we don’t already know how to have a good time in bed. Funny as fuck to be frank.

  • bah

    something something satire something something. Ok whatever.

    But there are easier ways to do some some damage. I am worried that a woman will lean back too far and snap it. I had someone bite my balls and I was sore for a long time after. Also if you are really fat I feel like you will injure me fo sho.

    In summary: I cannot date you if you do not have a basic anatomy understanding, or you might put me in the hospital.

    • Nemo

      “In summary: I cannot date you if you do not have a basic anatomy understanding, or you might put me in the hospital.”

      Fair.

  • http://camicamirobotic.blogspot.com/ Camille

    truueee

  • Kris Bundy

    If you haven’t read any of the comments, and are about to make a comment, read this first.

    Do not make your, “BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MEN!?!?!” comment. Do not talk about how this advocates for violence against men. You know this is wrong. You know this article is satirical; for both those ridiculous sex advice columns in Cosmo for insecure teenagers that would rather get nebulous advice from an author they’d never meet than from their sex partner, and it is also satirical for the cheeseballs that talk about wrecking female genitals as if they’d enjoy being “destroyed”. You know that is what this article is about. You’re not an idiot. Please do not make that comment. I do not want to have to call you an idiot.

    • Cloudbowski

      Why does it need to include graphic violence? Where’s the satire, are Cosmo articles violent, if it were satirical why does it focus so much on nasty violence?

      “and it is also satirical for the cheeseballs that talk about wrecking female genitals as if they’d enjoy being “destroyed”.”
      This has no relevance, men’s magazines and publications would never use these terms, it’s the lingo of locker rooms, terrible pubs and the like and is frowned upon by the vast majority of men. The author is merely bringing her self down to the level of these idiots.
      It’s the fact its been given a platform, far more prominent than the corners the behaviour she clearly dislikes lurks in that’s the problem.

      Again, you cam’t tell me this article would be removed from any major site, if genders were reversed?
      There’s a lot of terrible advice out there for men too, I wonder what would happen if I were to write a ‘satirical’ article on a fake men’s news site graphically describing female genital mutilation, in the name of pleasure… and then passing it off as humour. Are you telling me there wouldn’t be uproar?

      • Cloudbowski

        “You know that is what this article is about. You’re not an idiot. Please do not make that comment. I do not want to have to call you an idiot.”

        There’s quite a balanced discussion here, with a fair amount of people sharing my view-point, are we all idiots?
        I’m entitled to my opinion on this controversial piece, without being branded an idiot. Your closing statement, doesn’t cement your views as correct and a discussion closer, I’m afraid, Kris.

        • Nemo

          Yes, you are all idiots. Just because you all flocked together to make a loud chorus of idiots does not mean you aren’t idiots. Bad logic, friend.

          That’s like saying because swaths of people supported slavery, it must’ve been ok. Idiot.

          • Cloudbowski

            Comparing a few people sharing an opinion on a ‘satirical’ article, to slavery is bad logic, friend (idiot).

          • Nemo

            The fact that you don’t understand how logic works isn’t actually my problem.

            The logic you demonstrated (“…with a fair amount of people sharing my view-point, are we all idiots?”) is exactly the same as one of the flawed pieces of logic people would use to justify slavery in the past (“We need slaves to live. The whole of the south can’t be wrong about that.”).

            That you can’t see past your own cognitive dissonance is not my problem. Also, no need to feign friendliness here. I don’t mind if you think I’m an idiot because you have failed to demonstrate that I’m wrong.

          • Cloudbowski

            This is the last time I’ll engage with you on this thread, the fact you feel the need to resort to being insulting rather than discussing the point, speaks volumes.

            I, along with the rest of the commenters sharing my opinion, reserve the right to have an opinion, you’re dismissing a large amount peoples views here, which are healthy, comparing this to slavery is completely and utterly ridiculous.

          • Nemo

            You just called me an idiot and then unironically complained about me being insulting.

            I’ve lost all patience for people who refuse to think with clarity. You dismiss the reality and context of the article in order to personally justify being offended.

            I’ve discussed the point repeatedly. I’ve elaborated and explained to you the logic of all statements. But you don’t wanna hear it, so you cling to fact that I have very little patience for you or your ridiculous views. You DON’T have a healthy view of this situation, no matter how many times you tell yourself that.

            Good bye.

          • Cloudbowski

            You were the first to use the term idiot, you’ll find; “That’s like saying because swaths of people supported slavery, it must’ve been ok. Idiot.”

            When I used the term, I was being ironic. You really aren’t showing your self in a good light here, grow up.

    • wrcheatham

      I thought jokes about rape and similar offenses were never okay. But I guess the defenders of this lude article think there’s a time and a place for domestic violence jokes?

    • Luan Garcia

      But I want call you an idiot. You really want me to believe that this article is a reference to these things you said? And even if it is, I did not know this article is about it, first because I had never seen anyone talking about “distroying” female genitals, and if I saw, I would not find it normal. Second, because the reference is not explicit in the article, so I can read and understand it not as a “satire”. Incitement to sexual violence is not a way of joke or fun, it’s wrong anyway; you can’t fight violence with violence. It’s not funny to men who experienced sexual abuse, it’s ridiculous.

  • anonymous

    No…Just no!

  • dick

    For the girls that made this shit yins are absolutely fucking horrible. NO MAN DESERVES THIS. What in the actual fuck this is the reason for woman abusing. CASE CLOSED

    • Nemo

      Satire. Look it up. Also, in case you don’t know what it’s being satirized: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=bad+sex+advice+from+cosmo

      • Cloudbowski

        Yeah, yeah… still no violence and quite few (NOT ALL) of those, if done correctly are enjoyable.

        Still don’t see the need for the abuse / graphic violence angle in this, she could have wrote a much funnier satirical list, if she’d been imaginative and exaggerated these actual tips.
        Every single one on the list is violent, there’s no violence / torture in the Cosmo lists, so AGAIN, where’s the satire?

        Either she’s wrote this to rally round the troops to all get off and have a good penis / man bash, or she’s attention seeking.

        • Cloudbowski

          My point is, stuff like this can be written and published on places where many people will see it, I know it’s meant to be humorous but it wouldn’t last 5 minutes the other way round, due to feminist outrage.

          It would be really interesting to do an experiment, as close to this as possible.
          Would probably make the news. .

  • http://www.fuc Absolut

    This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever read.

  • http://aclassindustry.com.au/videos/ Neymar

    Violence against men, some men say no

    • Nemo

      Stop showing everyone how dumb you are. This is a satirical article more than a year old. It’s making fun of bad sex advice. You probably don’t know that because you don’t regularly read women’s magazines. Maybe you should not go to women’s satire websites.

      If you don’t know what this article is making fun of, here: lmgtfy.com/?q=bad+sex+advice+from+cosmo

  • dat

    All I’ve gathered here is that women love rape.

    • Nemo

      And what we’ve all gathered is that you’ve never read women’s magazines and seen the genuinely terrible sex advice delivered there. Also, that you don’t know what satire is.

      In case you don’t know what I’m referring to, here you go: lmgtfy.com/?q=bad+sex+advice+from+cosmo

  • DrSebby

    Hi I’m new here.

  • adfasdfadfs

    shoulda been headbutt to the groin in the 69 surprise

  • marcos

    Me the sec ummm me hood duck living waterbury you un wtby Call me for cree good sex #2039825751call me want girl lime sec for hours ohh yea

  • Ton

    Rachel Wenitsky, it looks like you need a new man. Your article -to be a bit polite- is not funny at all, actually a crap shit. What if some guys come and “reductress” punching you in the face before you have an orgasm stopping it suddenly and make you shout? That would be lovely :D

  • Cătălin Florin Marin

    “GUYS, GUYS! We’re just joking! It’s all satire! Being retarded is the ultimate form of comedy! NO YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO WRITE A SPIN-OFF WITH THE ROLES REVERSED! YOU SEXIST PIG!!!1!!!”

  • Tom Chun

    Hey you know whats really funny? When she tries to break your penis, PULL OUT A KNIFE AND CHOP HER TITS OFFF!!! hahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  • Ramin Mohammad

    Dat misandry doe, seriously could this get anymore sexist?

  • melanie Crescent

    poor men have some respect why dont you

  • Luan Garcia

    I actually read a manual on how to commit sexual abuse or what?

  • Ciaran Reid

    Feminist Hypocrisy, a topic so vast and terrifying in its scope, that I’m going to have to pivot a bit and look at it from another angle.

    You see, I could spend the entirety of this video listing bullet point after bullet point of specific examples of how modern Third Wave Feminism, informed by the triple threat of Postmodern bullshit, Identity Politics bafflegab and selective Fashion Victim rationalizations is all about claiming to do one thing and consistently doing another.

    In fact, why don’t I list a few of my favorites to start things off.

    First, the idea that Feminism represents a movement of equality for women that also, in some magical betterment through vilification, benefits men. Which is like saying the benefits of Kristallnacht was that Jews no longer had to do windows.

    The name itself. If one is for equity and egalitarianism, then why the name “Feminism”? Odd that a movement that seeks to render everything gender neutral, when and if convenient and where men are involved, ddoesn’textend the same neutering to its own name. Also, although they may fight to change the term “fireman” to “fire fighter”, the term “gunman” is pretty safe from revision.

    Although Feminists strive for parity in sought after careers and in communities that they did not build or sacrifice for, they are notoriously uninterested in achieving parity in dirty, dangerous occupations, general shit-work or, for example, in making women’s federal student loans dependent on signing up for Selective Service cannon fodder at the age of 18 just like everyone with a penis had to do.

    It’s an odd and completely self-serving parity whereby if Feminists are unrepresented in communities that they had no hand in creating, parity must be established. What others build must be handed over to Feminists and Social Justice Warriors once they stick their foot in the door. And that parity comes at no price because Feminists feel no obligation, on arrival, to do any real work except for taking a managerial position, telling everyone else what to do, and deriding those who do real work as shitlords. The Feminist ideal seems to be that women just are, and are valued for converting oxygen into carbon dioxide and generally taking up space. It’s not like they actually have to do anything. Except call you a misogynist should you get the least bit uppity.

    It’s not for nothing that the much cited “game developer” Zoe Quinn of ‪#‎gamergate‬ fame didn’t develop anything like what is usually recognized as a video game requiring talent, technical skill and the outlay of time and effort and instead takes her place as a “developer” based on a boring, puerile text-based “choose your own adventure” boilerplate. That, and having, well-traveled as it may be, a vagina.

    Of course, parity need not be maintained in areas where women are over-represented and increasing unequal representation of women in college enrollment, for instance, doesn’t mean that anything should be done to help men, rather, that inequity is equality and more should be done for women.

    To Feminists, the sexuality of women is to be celebrated, regardless of how tawdry and careless it may be, ever on the lookout for the merest hint of “slut shaming” while engaging in the dissection and micromanaging of every sexual thought, word or deed a man might potentially have.

    Feminists decry “fat shaming” and feel it is their right to determine what men, in general, may or may not find attractive. Men who do not find overweight women attractive are denied the excluded middle of actually preferring fit and healthy women and it’s claimed they want boyish, anorexic girls. At the same time, men who do find overweight women attractive are derided as fetishistic “chubby chasers” seeking women with low self-esteem despite previous bullshit claims that Healthy at Any Size women love themselves.

    And on and on it goes. Untangling the constant “giving it with one hand and taking it away with another” that Feminists engage in can be a full time job. As is having to issue the walking-on-eggshells disclaimers at every step.

    You know, like that by criticizing Feminism, which is a political and social ideology, not a gender, one is not criticizing women as a whole. Mostly that confusion is cultivated by Feminists every chance they get in the same way that some right-wing Fox News nutjobs in the United States will answer every critique of their self-serving programs with the question “Why do you hate freedom?”.

    This “woman as victim” feminism promotes an idea of women as people forever acted upon, not acting on things and so, to be against this view of women is not to be anti-woman, but rather, promoting the idea of women as fully formed adult human beings able to take the knocks, setbacks, and yes, injustices that are part of the human experience.

    Feminism – this view promoting the outrage and foot stamping of the perpetually dissatisfied woman-child– benefits only a small subset of mostly white, middle-class educated, white collar women and is otherwise perfectly happy to have “This is What a Feminist Looks Like” T-shirts made by underpaid and exploited women in the Third World. A prominent feminist women can advocate for women in the workforce, while mistreating her own help and paying them pennies.

    Feminism is, in the narrowest political sense, simply pork. Which doesn’t make it unique, it just makes it one more obsessive special interest group looking for the best way to AstroTurf its demands.

    This hypocrisy is bad enough when it’s limited to some cranks on the internet but the real potential for harm comes when the hypocrisy is made manifest and legislated. Take, for example, the “Violence Against Women Act” which codifies the idea that, in domestic violence, men are the perpetrators and women are the victims when it’s been known since the 1970s, based on numerous studies, that there is, in fact, parity in domestic violence. Women are just as much perpetrators of domestic violence as men, initiate it more often, and not in self-defense and where a weapon is used it is more often women wielding it.

    From almost the moment that Feminists claimed the existence of a “wage gap” it’s been proven time and again that once you allow from the different choices men and woman make, including investment of time and effort, no such wage gap actually exists. That Feminists persist in repeating a canard that has been rigorously disproven shows that they are all for the equality of women getting paid more for doing less on the job. And the proposed “equal pay” acts are attempts to ensure, despite all the variables, that forced outcome.

    Or demanding the full protection for women under the law, and even adding to the protection with “rape shield laws” while at the same time supporting the complete evisceration of due process rights for college men accused of rape until the mere accusation is enough. The rights delineated in the American Bill of Rights are considered to be innate and inalienable and the Bill of Rights exists not to bestow them but simply to prohibit government from infringing on them. And so there is not greater hypocrisy than doing an end-run in academia and treating those innate and inalienable due process rights as inconvenient and optional.

    Blah-blah-fucking-blah. I can literally go on doing this forever.

    The question is not where Feminist and Feminism are exercises in hypocrisy, but the why and how of the hypocrisy. That is, like being evil, no one consciously thinks of themselves as a hypocrite. Hypocrisy is made possible by a world view coupled with some particular mental gymnastics.

    Let me explain by means of what might seem to be a digression.

    Feminism, as it is practiced now, coming out of academia and online discourse, all too used to browbeating people into compliance, is a totalizing, dogmatic system.

    Like Marxism, Freudianism and Randian Objectivism, feminism is not only an ideology, but represents an all encompassing way of looking at the world that is insular and dogmatic as any religious doctrine. The simplest way to think of a totalizing system is to think of it as a construct that not only serves to explain everything, and there is literally nothing that does not come under the rubric of its ready-made explanation but, more importantly it comes equipped with a series of ad hoc rationalizations. These rationalizations guarantee that it explains everything and where it seemingly doesn’t, well, that’s just more evidence that it explains everything.

    The most overt example of this kind of thinking comes from Freudian Psychoanalysis where it relates to the psycho-sexual development of children, Freud, being a deranged, coke-fueled nutjob, figured that young boys are sexually attracted to their mothers, which causes much conflict and confusion. Freud referred to this as the Oedipal Complex. Carl Jung named the same phenomena occurring between young girls and their fathers The Elektra complex, but that was mainly to piss Freud off.

    Now, fun fact about the Oepidal Complex, at least the way Freud constructed it: There’s no escape. You see, if a guy marries someone who looks like or in some other way has characteristics of his mother, that’s a clear manifestation of unresolved Oedipal Complex. Of course, if the same guy marries someone who in no way resembles his mother, that’s “reaction formation” and like a two headed coin with Freud’s cigar fellating face on both sides, that’s still a manifestation of the Oedipal Complex. That’s also what’s called an ad hoc rationalization.

    And that’s the neat thing about totalizing systems with their ad hoc rationalization neatly lined up in case of emergency: They explain so much everything that in practice, they explain absolutely nothing. And that phenomena was what Carl Popper called “nonfalsifiability”, which is in no way a compliment or something that anything but sheer bullshit should aspire to.

    Thing about totalizing systems is they are kind of like a virus. They don’t care about killing the host, or generally making no sense whatsoever, provided they propagate themselves. The purpose of ad hoc rationalizations is not to really explain anything about the world, but to protect the a priori assumptions of the totalizing system and save it from refutation. The conclusions of these systems are not dependent on the premises, in fact premises can come and go, or be flipped on their heads, but the conclusion, at all costs, must be maintained.

    Think of how utterly immune from refutation concepts such as the wage gap, or rape culture, or that disagreement constitutes harassment are to those who have chugged the victim narrative Kool-Aid. Think how easily Feminist dodge and weave with “Not All Feminists Are Like That” Not only can’t you refute any claim of feminism — as far as the Feminist is concerned — but when push comes to shove, they will deny that they make those claims at all, or rather, those claims are made by some other feminists, which is like, to paraphrase Karen Staughan, foil fencing flatulence.

    Then, there’s the big one. The thing that explains everything: The Patriarchy. Otherwise known as The Man, the All Male Hegemony of Control and Oppression, the birthright to awesome cosmic power that Feminists attribute to all men. Which isn’t at all inexplicable considering the Feminist selectivity in that if you are not a man with power, that is, one they can get something out of, you are practically invisible. The one thing Feminists really hate to talk about, even think about, is class. Mostly because the middle and lower portions of it are just filled with men for whom they have no use.

    The Patriarchy is the big guns of a non-falsifiable, observation-laden construct preserved by ad hoc rationalizations. Something hurts Feminists? That’s the Patriarchy. Feminists hurt other women? That’s the Patriarchy too. Men get hurt by Feminism? That’s also the Patriarchy. There is, quite literally, nothing The Patriarchy can’t do. Or, at least, get blamed for.

    The Patriarchy is the high-octane fuel for the engine of the perpetual victim narrative.

    Now, the conclusion of Feminism of the Third Wave, fashionable kind is the preservation of a victim narrative. The victim narrative serves several purposes, first, it explains away the personal failures of the individual Feminist by externalizing them, it allows an emotional appeal to quash the sort of criticism that would be leveled were not the individual feminist a tender and bruised raw nerve libel to fly off the handle and go totally stabby at the first sign of resistance,

    Basically, it requires you to treat the Feminist as a strong and resilient intellectual Amazon warrior princess while, in practice, obligating you to coddle them like a teary-eyed six year old.

    Take, for an example of Feminists utter tone deafness when it comes to class. , the “Ten Hours of Walking” video, just one of several videos trying to create outrage for fun and profit by having a woman videotaped walking the streets for hours, generally in lower socio-economic class black and latino neighborhoods in order to document “street harassment”. After hours of trolling for harassment, what is actually demonstrated is not “harassment”, that is violent or threatening behavior, but ethnic guys having the audacity to say hello or otherwise seek acknowledgement from the young woman baiting them. The videos are supposed to prove something about how men and woman interact in public, but what it proves is that some women will completely overstate the case for harassment by treating any interaction as harassment. What’s more, although the videos claim just as much harassment comes from white men, the target audience for shaming, they could just as easily be used by racists to make the case of the perils faced by pretty white women at the hands of lustful black men and other minorities. However, unlike the “strange fruit” of days gone by, the goal of these sort of damsels in distress masquerading as strong women who can hold their own, is more ambitious. Rather than calling for the lynching of black men, men in general will do just fine.

    The real hypocrisy of these sorts of efforts is that they pretend to be about progress, about moving forward and redefining gender norms, while actually digging deep to mine the chivalrous psychology of a selective traditionalism and, perhaps, traditional racism.That is, traditionalism that women benefit from must be preserved, even if rebranded as something else, and that by not only demanding males behave in traditional ways, but also by plastering that over with additional and often contradictory demands. That men perform traditional roles as buffers and protectors – because the call is for men to take on men over supposed “street harassment” – while not expecting women to fulfill traditional roles, least of all respecting men for on the one hand saving the damsel in distress, while simultaneously extolling her virtues as a strong, independent woman capable of taking care of themselves.

    And that bit of hypocrisy bears repeating. Modern Third Wave Feminism is not a progressive movement, rather it is a selective rebranding of traditionalism for women, with no reciprocal rethinking of those traditional male roles that are of benefit to them.

    Now, let’s talk about how this all actually plays out.

    I’ve read somewhere that Tibetan Buddhists, and this may be coming from the Dalai Lama rather than a doctrine of Buddhism per se, that should Buddhist claims conflict with empirical fact, then the claims would be tossed out.

    Now, I don’t know whether or not that is true. At least, I haven’t seen a single instance of that being put into practice and, given the nature of dogmas, you can always count on just enough revisionist wiggle room that the jettisoning of established dogma wouldn’t actually happen.

    This is not unique to Buddhism either. I’ve heard the same claims made about Judaism and even Christians try to get in on the act that their dogma is taking part in the free flow of discourse and, therefore, open to refutation. The Catholic Church attempts to do this by claiming there’s no contradiction between Evolution and the Truth in the Bible more by opting out, claiming different magesteria rather than humbling themselves before fact.

    Now, why would otherwise dogmatic and insular religious doctrines make these sorts of claims, especially if, like me, you are cynical enough to think when such a thing was about to happen, they would find a way to weasel out of making good on the claim?

    I mean, very best thing that doomsday cults do isn’t calculating the end of the world. It’s recalculating the end of the world.

    You see, everyone wants to act like they are taking part in discourse, that they are fair salesmen in the marketplace of ideas. You want to make yourself out to be reasonable rather than, revealing that you are a bunch of close-minded, insular lunatics whose only interest in getting into the market of ideas is so you can shout people down and unload a canned speech on them.

    The problem is, that many of the sellers in the market place of ideas are exactly that. Snake oil merchants who have lied their way in to the market itself under false pretenses.

    And that is the greatest, most glaring hypocrisy of modern Feminism, and the same tendencies is on steroids for the online version: Feminists enter into spaces, intrude on them, claiming that they are there to right injustice, or raise consciousness. They are just there to talk. And what follows are blocking and shaming tactics, having people’s social media accounts suspended, people fired from their jobs, if possible, claims of abuse and harassment all direct towards one aim and only one aim: To have a monologue, to engage in the marketplace of ideas by shutting everyone else up, through harassment and proxy violence if necessary so they can run a re-education camp for a captive audience.

    That, to me, is the greatest hypocrisy of modern Feminism: It enters into spaces paying lip service to the idea of having a discussion, of having a dialogue, or being able to be persuaded by facts and common sense when, in fact, it’s just another totalizing system, another big bag of predetermined ideological nonsense, as much as any other crackpot theory or religious dogma, that can only operate in the a complete vacuum of dissenting voices and is more than willing to suck the air out of any room to accomplish this.

    And really, when it comes to that, it’s all just marketing. I wouldn’t claim that we live in an age or a culture where people are no longer coerced by violence. However, I would say that when violence is used, it can’t be used in broad daylight. Which explains why we live in a surveillance state where there are cameras literally everywhere, but cops will still crack your head for filming them.

    Because of this, we live in an age and culture of lies and fallacy and emotional appeal where the art of massive bullshit was perfected over a century of selling people shit they don’t need through marketing. And it’s no accident that Edward Bernays, the patron saint of 20th century public relations and propaganda used his Uncle Sigmund’s theories of Psychoanalysis to craft more and more refined ways to lie to people in large groups. The ad hoc hypocrisy of totalizing systems and marketing go hand in hand to the extant that, quite literally, the truth is regarded as whatever you can make people believe.

    Modern Feminism, which most of the time acts as a series of witch hunts and moral panics, hypocritically acts as if it is a fair seller in the marketplace of ideas when, in fact, it is simply marketing. Not surprisingly, some of the more successful online feminists have degrees in marketing, communication, and are selling the product of endless outrage that can only be cured by giving them your dollars. You can refute their claims on a Monday and they will be back repeating them by Wednesday. That’s because their claims, the victim narrative, isn’t something open for debate or beta testing. It’s a product that they simply intend to sell as is.

    And that is the most cynical, the most hypocritical thing of all.

  • David Ezzio Di Vona

    lmfao these women need to die, along with the manginas.

  • Joni

    Major props to Carly Monardo for these awesome illustrations!

  • Luan Garcia

    Someone said this article is a satire; but I have doubt that it really is because I had never seen anyone talking these things about a woman. Anyway, incitement to sexual abuse is not a way to satirize, this is not funny in no way. Even if it’s a satire, this doesn’t justify . You don’t know what is to be victim of sexual violence to make jokes with it!

  • TyDaMan

    Funnily enough, if this article was written about destroying a woman’s vagina, stupid SJWs and feminists would throw a huge fit and force the author to delete it. Those morons think they are entitled and rule the world.

  • Briton Trotter

    This was hilarious and not offensive. Fellow men, we can read this without being remotely bothered, except in the context of how women would hypothetically be bothered if the described roles were reversed.. This is because sexual violence by women against men is exceedingly rare (inb4 kid from Even Stevens does not a trend make.) It’s not a double standard unless things are equal notwithstanding that standard.

  • Samantha Eyler

    Tut tut, Reductress! You know that men these days feel emasculated if you dare to even open a door for them! Look how hurt all these poor menz feelings are. For shame. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2565002/Holding-doors-open-men-threatens-masculinity-makes-feel-vulnerable-study-Indiana.html

  • happydog

    Next time, try being funny when you write humor. It seems to work better that way.

  • Eric Bourland

    >>Now grind into him like your trying to free a cork out of wine bottle with a broken corkscrew.

    you’re

  • I.Pee Daly

    Nope, you’re not going to “destroy” my penis. How about I kick you in the crotch? Doesn’t that sound like fun?

  • Cynth

    Great! now lets see the version where guys do this to his girl! Anyone? If we wanna promote violence against men, lets be equal and do the same towards women. I’m all down :)

    Btw, Rachel you come off as a cunty feminist jew.

  • Abdul Alim

    Holy crap! Somebody that actually took the time to think about a different point of view and not just post reactionary garbage. xnxx

  • omgwtfbbqhax1

    Disgusting feminazi who wrote this should be euthanized

  • guesticon

    You shits are fucking disgusting I hope you all get cancer

  • Alonso Robert

    If your wondering how to regain the all you lost during your addiction mostly family and job, the first thing is to remember it my never happen! Even if you’re putting consistent effort into changing your way of thinking and living, that doesn’t necessarily mean every family member is going to be ready to dive in to a new relationship. Sometimes, a family’s trust has been unraveling over years and years. It won’t be rebuilt over night or at all.The best thing to do in early recovery is either to focus on living sober and healthy. Quitting drugs, or no longer drinking, isn’t sufficient change for the addict. Your entire perspective on life, patterns of thinking, and living habits also need to change Otherwise, you’re essentially the same addict or alcoholic, only without the substance or just contact this spell caster he has helped a lot of people get their lives back including me when all seem to be hopless he always shrine the light of remdeption and hope. He fix all problem and i know this because i am writing this from my personal experience.If you have been reading comment online about this spell caster Obudun Magonata it will be easy for me to tell you this that he couldn’t get any more really that he is already. I have come to a conclusion that the gift he possess and his good heart are the strongest most powerful thing i have ever known. He is the most straight forward person and most understanding anyone can ever meet. He did not even ask for my money he just asked me to get materials that will be needed for the spell and that was it. To start, i am an alcoholic and also have a strong addiction for gambling. I lost almost a 100 grand on internet gambling and still did not stop at the same time i was drinking heavily i got suspended form work for a duration of four years because of my drinking problem & my home, i destroyed it with by myself. I was unfaithful to my wife several times and she knew what was happening, i kept yelling over nothing on my girls. My addiction to gambling and drinking was complimentary i was losing a lot of money and still playing and was drinking a lot to calm my nerves. The addiction made me numb my feelings was gone. My wife , my girls saw me as a monster. I remember this day, my wife told me it as my second girl’s birthday the other week and my responds was “grown *** girls don’t celebrate their birthday and if she wanted to she can as well go get a job so she can use want she earn to celebrate every day of her life”. I still can’t believe i said that to my wife and on top of that her sister was right there. My wife was hurt it was written all over her face her face and she told me ” I don’t even know who you are any more where is the man that use to be the human shield of this family ? that man would never had said anything to hurt me or his kids you don’t even care that you are scaring h*** out of this girls? one more of this and i am out” there i told her i don’t need them they were weighing me down that there were burden on me. Those words still hunts me till this day i can believe i really said all those words. My wife left me and off course with the kids and foolish drunk me happily signed the divorce papers. Honestly i don’t know maybe it because i was drunk most of the the day, i felt go i get gambling and kept drinking losing big and winning little waking up with different ladies on my bed every morning. I was like this for two years, and i felt i was on top of the world but my friend made me see i had nothing anymore his wife won’t let him talk to me or hang out with me i gradually felt empty. At a point i saw i needed to get clean and actually committed to my self to AA off course it was hard to admit but with my friends help i got committed. I was six months clean from alcohol and gambling when i discovered my wife was see another man and they were going to get married. I was still in love with her. She was mad when she saw me, she wanted nothing to do with me, my girls hated me because of me they could not even look at me. |I tried to get close and got a restraining order. I needed to be my family again i know i ruined it by myself i just wanted to make it up to them i failed then and i wanted to redeem myself to show them the man that use to be the human shield of his family is back i found him again. Obudun Magonata was the man that help me made it happen. It was the course of find a away to reach my wife i found this great spell caster. I did not have the privilege of meeting but like he told other he had helped, some of them met him in real time. He told me after the spell casting my wife , my child will love me like we never fell apart they would know i messed up but they will not care about it any more. I got the materials that was required of me by i got i mean i asked him to help me sending over to him the total cost because most of the materials where only found in the heart of Libya. Just after the spell process was concluded a package was sent to me i can’t disclose its content but it rest easy it could not even harm a fly. He told me what to do with it and all he said will happen happened. I had my family back my wife , my child and i are once again that happy family i lost. I was still on suspension he told he i will get a call to come back to work and i did just after all he did for me. This spell caster he has something that saves lives. Am glad i met him all he promised me he did i wish i could me more grateful. I will leave his email contact like those other person that did in there comment or article which ever this is spiritsofobudunmagonata ‘ at ‘ ‘ yahoo ‘ ‘ dot ‘ ‘ com . I know you all know how to make use of this email because email have a standard format use it in that form++++

  • jcr52

    So this is supposed to be a reaction to the phrase “destroying a woman’s vagina”, which I’ve never heard a man say, (where is this said, anyway?) meaning a man really gave his wife/girlfriend a great time in the sack. The author has to know that almost no man actually wants to hurt his wife’s/girlfriend’s vagina and it’s just an expression.

    Somehow, if women used the expression that they “destroyed their husbands’/boyfriends’ penis”, meaning they had had great sex, and their men knew that’s all it meant, I don’t think too many men would be offended by it.